The Nemean Lion was an enormous beast twice the size of a large bear, with huge jaws and razor-sharp teeth. Very, very ill-tempered.

That was the good news. The bad news was that its thick golden pelt was impenetrable. Neither iron, nor bronze, nor stone could pierce it. Very similar to hospital food, only not quite as tough.

Some say that the Nemean Lion was the offspring of the monster Typhon, or of the Chimera and the Dog Orthrus; yet others claim that Selene bore it with a fearful shudder and dropped it on earth.

You see, as punishment for a promised sacrifice that was not fulfilled, the moon goddess Selene vengefully set it to prey upon the people who dared dishonor her, the story goes.

The ancient poets are probably still arguing about the origin of the Lion to this day:

Hesiod: "Hey, I wrote the book, so I should know whodunit. Python was responsible for the Nemean Lion."

Demodocus: "At Hera's request, the moon goddess Selene created the Lion from sea foam enclosed in a large ark. Iris, the goddess of the rainbow, binding it with her girdle, carried it to the Nemean mountains. Sorry Hesiod, I normally defer to you, but on this point you stand corrected."

Pindar: "It's two against one, Hesiod; The Nemean mountains were named after a daughter of Zeus and Selene, and the Lion's cave is still a must-visit tourist trap, located about two miles from the city of Nemea. My cousin is a tour guide there, perhaps I can arrange a complimentary visit for you."

At any rate, Hercules arrived at the village of Cleonae, where he lodged at the house of a poor shepherd named Molorchus, whose son was one of many slaughtered by the Lion.

Mourning Molorchus was about to sacrifice a ram to Hera.

'Whoa, there! Hold on, pal! Did you say Hera?'

Hercules would have none of that!

Surely you remember the bad blood between Hera and Hercules, right? Let me refresh your memory:

Hera hated Hercules ever since he was born. Her husband Zeus, King of the Olympians, had a nasty habit of consorting with countless beautiful young mortal women, and Hercules was his love child from one of those extramarital affairs.

Hera in wrath had made it her life mission to eternally torment Hercules. Actually, she hated him even before he was born! Listen to this:

Hera, patroness of midwives and childbirth, had purposely delayed the birth of Hercules by four hours so that his cousin Eurystheus, whose own birth she hastened by two months, would be born first.

Hera did this by squatting cross-legged at the threshold of the birthing room, preventing Alcmene from delivering her baby Hercules.

By so doing it gave the two-month premature baby Eurystheus the right to claim the royal throne - by virtue of being older - rather than the rightful heir, Hercules.

Weak and sickly Eurystheus, even though King, could never get over playing second fiddle to his famous cousin, who was fearless and built like a god. Eurystheus was small and puny, and had absolutely no nerve.

Gutless King Eurystheus was the exact opposite of his legendary cousin. Hercules was so strong and fearless that he had excitedly strangled two huge venomous python snakes sent by Hera to devour him when he was just a months-old baby.

As the years passed, Hercules became even more powerful, and King Eurystheus even more cowardly, and his resentment of his larger-than-life cousin grew daily.

King Eurystheus was the one responsible for issuing the twelve labors that Hercules had to perform in order to purify himself of some vile murders (see Cancer Zodiac for explanation).

Wanting desperately to see Hercules dead, King Eurystheus commanded the hero to slay the Lion and return with its pelt as proof, knowing full well that it was an impossible task.

At Cleonoe Hercules asked his host, the shepherd Molorchus to wait thirty days.

"If I return safely, sacrifice to Savior Zeus; if I do not, sacrifice to me as a hero! Just don't sacrifice to Hera, she drives me mad!"

In more ways than one. Hercules reached Nemea at midday but found nobody to direct him, since the Lion had de-populated the entire region. It was sending real estate prices right down the toilet!

Presently Hercules located the Lion as it returned to its lair, covered head to toe in blood from the day's slaughter, pleased as punch with itself and all the chaos and bedlam it was causing. Stealthily it disappeared into the darkness of its cave.

The shepherd Malarchos had warned Hercules in hushed tones how the beast would kidnap the beautiful maidens of the neighboring villages and transport them unharmed to its lair.

There it would await the inevitable arrival of the maidens' saviors. Assuming the form of the damsels in distress the Nemean Lion would feign sleep, only at the last second changing back to its true form.

It then would pounce upon the unsuspecting heroes, biting their heads off. Hercules was wise to this ploy and did not fall for it.

An expert marksman, Heracles unleashed a torrent of arrows at the unseen beast deep inside its lair. Come out, come out.

The Nemean Lion licked its chops bemused, and worked its way to the light of the cave entrance as the arrows rebounded harmlessly off its thick hide.

It yawned as the charging Hercules, shouting a glorious battle cry, stabbed it with his frightful sword, given to him by the messenger god Hermes. Incredibly, the weapon bent as if made of soft lead, and worst of all, he was certain that the warranty had just expired. Damn! Never fails.

Hercules threw down the useless sword and heaved up his behemoth club - so heavy only he could lift it - delivering a stunning blow to the muzzle of the animal that would have done Babe Ruth proud.

The mammoth club splintered into tiny toothpicks.

Hercules did not see that coming. The trusty truncheon had been formed from an ancient oak, holy tree to Zeus, and it was supposed to be unbreakable.

'Got to check the warranty on that as well,' he thought.

However, this crushing strike by the world's strongest man, which would have pulverized any other creature, had no more than a minute effect on the beast, for it leisurely got up and sauntered back into its cave.

The Lion took a final dismissive gander at Hercules as if to say, 'You're lucky I'm not hungry, you strong little pesky human!'

Hercules, casting a rueful glance at his shattered Louisville Slugger, decided to take matters into his own hands. He placed a net at one entrance to the Lion's cave and went in by the other.

Knowing that weapons were useless against the Nemean Lion, he began wrestling with it. That's when the Lion bit off one of his fingers. Ouch!

Bad, bad Lion! Naughty Lion! Now the hero was *issed!

"So you want to bite, eh? Bite this!"

In the cramped and darkened quarters, Hercules with his fists relentlessly battered the Lion upside the head, momentarily stunning it.

When the Lion gathered its senses enough to pounce, Hercules caught it in midair. With one hand grasping the Lion's forelegs and the other its hind legs, the world's strongest man bent it backwards over his knee, breaking its back.

The Nemean Lion lay lifeless at the feet of Hercules, his first of twelve grueling labors complete.

Hercules 2 - Lions 0, for those of you keeping score at home. That was the second ferocious lion of his brief career, and he was just getting started! This was going to be fun!

Some versions of the myth have our hero then freeing the trapped maidens and delivering them safely to their homes.

Hercules returned to Cleonae with the huge lion carcass slung over his shoulders, and found the shepherd Molorchus about to offer him a heroic sacrifice, it being the thirtieth day.

Instead, together they sacrificed to their protector Zeus. Hercules then proceeded back to Mycanae, to present the carcass to that sissy, Eurystheus, as per his command.

Even though the Lion was long dead, King Eurystheus was terrified at the sight of his buff cousin - somehow still alive! - with a huge lifeless lion slung over his broad shoulders.

After he changed his underwear, Eurystheus ordered Hercules to immediately remove the nasty Lion and to never again enter his city with scary creatures, dead or alive.

In the future he was to display the fruits of his Labors outside the gates. Wimp! Still trying to control his bowels, Eurystheus had his smiths forge him a bronze jar, which he buried beneath the earth.

He set his watchmen on the city walls and henceforth, whenever the approach of Hercules was signaled, he hid in the subterranean urn, and sent his orders by a herald.

What a wuss!

A hero dies only once, a coward a thousand times - Evidently, one thousand to one odds sounded real good to Eurystheus...

At first Hercules was at a loss as how to skin the Lion. All objects shattered next to the thick hide. But he was a clever man, and he remembered something wise Athena had told him:

"Use your enemy to your advantage."

He applied the beast's own diamond-sharp claws to flay the animal, and in no time at all Hercules was wearing the invulnerable pelt as armor, and the head as a helmet. Perfect fit!

There was very little, if anything, that could penetrate the epidermis of the Nemean Lion. Hercules, the world's most powerful hero, had become even more invincible!

Not just that - the pelt fit the magnificently well-built Hercules so well, Grecian maidens near and far swooned at the 21-one-year-old hunk, heroic son of Zeus, who was sculpted like a Greek god.

His exotic fashion statement became all the rage in Greece, and Olympian Dior® wasted no time in prominently featuring their new exclusive Herculean Lion™ line during Fall Fashion Week.

I made that last part up.

To commemorate the heroic deed, Zeus placed its image in the sky as the constellation Leo the Lion, the fifth sign of the Zodiac, joining the honored and exalted Little Animals in a Circle.

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